Poem: I Just Don’t Remember

Our dad didn’t live with us.

Back in 2005, a few of my friends were getting divorced and had young children at the time. Thinking of how their kids would be growing up living in broken homes made me sad and made me reflect on my own experiences as a child of divorce. As I was thinking about all of this, I realized that I really couldn’t remember my dad ever living at home with us. 

Shortly after that realization, Christmas came along. My sister-in-law, Kim Dalton, created a small scrapbook for me entitled, “Christmas Through The Years”. When I opened up the book and found this picture on the front page, I had this weird wave of emotion come over me. It was so strange that this had come about right after I’d had the realization of not recalling Dad ever living with us.

I found that little album to be my very favorite gift that year. It wasn’t a big and expensive gift that I loved, it was the one filled with Christmas memories, including ones with my Dad that touched me tremendously. A poem started rolling through my mind that very minute and I found that I absolutely couldn’t go to bed that Christmas night until I had put it down in writing!

I Just Don’t Remember

I just don’t remember
And I find it quite sad,
You living at home with us
Us at home with our dad.

Sometimes I feel cheated,
Sometimes I feel sad,
We could have been quite “normal”
And talked of the fun we had.

But you had to move away
And the rest of us stayed home,
We continued to live as a family
And you lived all alone.

I do remember you decorating
the garage for my special day,
Streamers way up in the sky,
All set for the kiddies to play

But why can’t I remember you
In the mirrors of my mind,
Playing with us and laughing
Or with Easter eggs to find?

Were there Saturday mornings?
Did you help with our fears of the dark?
Were there family dinners?
And days of fun at the park?

I know there’s no such thing as normal
As I sit here writing this poem,
But I just can’t help but wonder
What it was like when you lived at home.

You were my Daddy
And forever you’ll be in my heart,
I just wished I got to grow up
Without us living apart.

There are pictures that prove
that you once lived with us…

But
I just
don’t remember…

By: Kimberly Funk

Originally shared in “Kim’s Creative Place” on December 25, 2005

Dad passed away in 2013 and we will always miss him.